Recently, I have been thinking more about the family.
Each time I did, I thought about why my father and mother had such attitudes and habits. This naturally led me to think about their father and mother i.e. my grandparents.
After much thought and consideration, I reached one answer. It was because my mother, father, grandfather and grandmother all didn't allow their 'child self'.
I could take 'child self' literally as 'my childishness', but I chose this expression because it refers to a desire that is innate to me.
The 'child self' is suppressed by time and position. First daughter, first son, mother, father. The 'child-self' is pushed into the depths of one's mind by one's position in the small society of the family. The poor self that is pushed in is always looking for a chance to get out.
Even if we think about it in your head, we will never know when the 'child self' will come out. But by looking back from experience, we can know when it's time.
In my case, when I come across someone who often boasts, makes excuses or complains, or when I encounter such situations, for some reason I get furiously angry. I can imagine in my head that the person has various reasons and backgrounds, but I can't help but get angry.
Why is this? Because I was not allowed to do so as a child. Because my story was dismissed out of hand. Because they were not listened to me. You could say that I was deprived of self-expression.
I think that if I don't recognise this little me and tell my'self' that I do not have to be afraid anymore, I will force same things to my children like I've been done
Care takes time.
