"Why do I have to do this?"
"Is this something I have to do?
"Don't I have to do this?"
No, no, no. It's my job. I have to do it.
I'm just saying I don't want to do it. I don't want to be a dick.
I'll just shut up and get on with it.
No, but..."
It's the same old roundabout.
Maybe I'm asking the wrong question.
Is it okay not to do what I'm actually questioning?
If I ask "Why should I do what I don't have to do?", I enter a cul-de-sac?
In other words, a roundabout course. That's how I feel.
There is a more important question.
"Why am I doing it when I don't have to do it?"
I thought this was thousands or tens of thousands of times more important.
Why am I doing work that I don't have to do?
This is a question that asks about the current situation.
The conclusion, "to maintain my standard of living," is transparent.
Or, somehow.
I set a goal to "stop asking analytical questions of myself," but I did it.
Analytical questions make me feel delegitimized. Stop asking questions that make me feel delegated. The core of the goal is to "stop asking questions that make me delegate.
The question, "Why am I doing something I don't have to do? makes me so confused.
Something I don't have to do, wasting my time on social networking sites?
Am I delegitimizing myself by asking this question? No. It's a question I've never been asked before and I'm confused. The only way to do this is to leave the question as a question and wait for it to expand on itself.
And waiting for a verbal answer to the question, which is also the old way.
The most advanced pattern in my mind is that my behavior is changed by the question.
I respond to verbal questions with my body.
It may be more practical, because the energy to answer with words is diverted to action.
What I am doing now is what needs to be done.
Work, pretending to work, wasting time on social networking sites, etc....
Doing those things. Underdevelopment of mind and body.
Pouring my time into things I want to do or think I need to do,
Not accustomed to this. In other words, lack of physical strength. In some cases, the mental stamina is also lacking.
What kind of things am I accustomed to? I am accustomed to doing things that I don't think I need to do.
I have such strength like enduring what I feel is unnecessary. It can be repaired with rehabilitation.
After all, I answered with words. This is also the work of habituation.
Work on rehabilitation. This is how I answer with my body.
Lately, I have been feeling this kind of lack of physical or mental strength.
In other words, it is evidence that I have started working on rehabilitation.
I regain my deteriorated physical senses. Too much fitness to work on things I am not interested in,
I was unaware of another lack of physical or mental fitness.
Again. If I work on it, I will gain strength. No matter how old I am.
Why? Because it's only a metaphor. I don't know if such strength actually exists.
But there is definitely a degree of unfamiliarity.
